Why do 'I do'? Poet and memoirist Mark Doty didn't want to marry his partner. Sure, they were in love and there were benefits to be had, but Doty was afraid that legal recognition might change his relationship. Then he reliazed that it's the other way around: that his union, and others like it, will likely change the institution of marriage--forever.

The Advocate. The National Gay & Lesbian Newsmagazine › Nbr. 2008, April 2008

Author: Doty, Mark

Position:: Cover story

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Why do 'I do'? Poet and memoirist Mark Doty didn't want to marry his partner. Sure, they were in love and there were benefits to be had, but Doty was afraid that legal recognition might change his relationship. Then he reliazed that it's the other way around: that his union, and others like it, will likely change the institution of marriage--forever.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

I NEVER HAD THE LEAST DESIRE TO GET MARRIED.

Since neither church nor state had ever been, to put it mildly, supportive of my relationships, why on earth should I want them involved? Like many gay men, I relished the sense of freedom and improvisation that came from not having my relationship defined from the outside. No scripted expectations, no predetermined path. Wasn't it invigorating, an...

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